How do you know a therapist/counsellor is qualified?

This is a topic that comes up again once in a while. In a lot of countries counsellor or coach or therapist are not protected titles. What it basically comes down to is that anybody can start a practice or an online business as a therapist. It is not illegal and many clients are not aware of this.

It came to the forefront of my mind again as I am following the case of Keith Bakker this week. For the non-Dutch, he is a Dutch therapist who works with addicted people [ a lot of teenagers] to get them clean again. He has his own clinic and had a tv programme. He has now been accused of sexual harassment of several clients.

In his defence he has always been straight about the fact that he is not a qualified therapist or counsellor. He was an ex-addict who used his experience to help others. Sometimes those methods were extreme as he has admitted to taking clients home with him when he thought they needed it. And this is where the boundaries begin to blur. 

[I will not go into the fact if I think he is guilty or not] The fact is that even for the laywers it is now confusing. He is not a  qualified therapists so they cannot convict him of doing anything wrong as such and there is no licence to strike as he doesn’t have one. See the confussion? It is a very interesting case to follow and to see the outcome.

How can something like this be prevented? Or at least the chances of it happening made smaller? Counselling, therapist etc should be protected titles. And only used by somebody with the proper training.  A clinic like this should not be able to open it’s doors without the proper papers and it’s therapists being trained. I am not saying Keith did not help a lot of people. Some people are natural healers, but still next to that he should have gone through the training as well.

Until that happens what can you look for as a client to protect yourself?

• ·         Look at what credentials [and evidence for those] a counsellor boasts. On my website I have put as many links as I can for the evidence of my schooling

• ·         Are they a member of a professional body? I am a member of the NAC [ Dutch counselling association]

• ·         Any mention of an ethical code on their website? And a way to complain if needed.

All this will help you to pick somebody who has gone through the training. If you are unsure ask them about it.

I hope this helps you find the therapist that suits you!

Books that inspired me.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

I add added a new box to the blog and have named it 'books that inspired me' Here I will feature books that have done just that.

Image by .nele via Flickr

Although I love the internet, if I need information I will still turn to books. Be it travel guides, computer manuals or professional literature. I want to have books laying next to me that I can open, make notes in[if they are my own] and just have as many as I like open at the same time.

From a young age I have always read a lot. My mother read me stories and took me to the local library. Many books have inspired me over the years. A lot of these have been novels, but some of them have been professional literature.


One such book is Elaine Aron's 'the highly sensitive person'.  When I picked it up in the local bookstore [boekhandel verkaaik] about ten years I had no idea what the title meant, I had never heard heard the term highly sensitive before but I knew I was sensitive so it seemed an interresting read.


Pretty soon I could not put it down anymore. All those years I had thought I was weird for being affected by sounds, smells and crowds. Now I found out 10% of the world's population was like me! Our brains are wired differently and that is why we pick up things more intensely but we are not weird! It was such an eye-opener and this book prompted me to read more on the subject and to change things in my own life so I began to enjoy being an HSP


It became much easier to pick out others like me, and I sound found out that many of them did not know they were a HSP and they did not talk about it because like me they had thought they are weird. This is one of the reasons that today I love to work with highly sensitive people. To show them that they are not weird and to teach them how to love their gifts instead. To find peace with who they are and enjoy life to the fullest. And this amazing journey began by picking up one book.

Musing about human nature [the alphen mall shooting]

Image via Wikipedia

This week I just feel I want to write something about the shocking events that happened in my country last saturday. A young man in Alphen aan den Rijn, a town of 75000 inhabitants walked into his local shopping centre and started shooting. He killed 6 people and wounded several others before shooting himself through the head.
It is the first time something like this has happened in this country. We have seen it on the news, often it is very far away like in the US. And all of us thought, this is not going to happen here. Of course there have been shootings in the past, but those are almost always criminals or problems in within families.
Nothing on this scale. Our weapons laws are pretty strict as well and that usually helps.


How do people react?

Image via Wikipedia

For days afterwards it was the only thing people talked about. Perfect strangers would start to talk to you in waiting lines, waiting rooms and on trains and busses. Everybody felt the need to share. Most have no link with Alphen or the people who were killed and yet there is this human need to share to feel close to others, to try to understand and of course complain about what went wrong. He should never have been given a gun permit, it was all the fault of computergames and the violent ones should be banned. You hear that a lot on the street. 


People in Alphen also come together to work through their grief. There was a remembrance evening on sunday and on tuesday morning the shopping centre opened again with people applauding the shopkeepers. The news showed people hugging each other and crying, laying flowers and signing condoleance registers. Anything to give what happened a place. They are the ones who will have to go back to the shopping centre and try not to think about what happened every time they shop. It is a good thing to see people come together to support each other in any way they can. Dutch victim support is there, churches are open all day long for those who want to talk, religious or not. In this way they are helping people to heal by sharing and being heard. And this way reducing the trauma of what happened. Forget? No, but to give it a place in their lives and to move on.


We should never forget people like Margriet ter Haar. This 68 year old owner of a small shop gave her own life while saving total strangers. She is a true modern hero.


I hope something good will come out of all the grief and pain. Simply that people will care about their neighbours more. Not many noticed that the 24 year old shooter was troubled. These mass shooters are often young men who are somehow not connected to society. They are lonely and often have been bullied as youngsters. I hope we will start caring for these young men, to show them that there are people who care and befriend them. We are all unique and to offer a helping hand can go such a long way, together we can make this world a happier and safer place.

Related articles

• Six People Killed In Netherlands Shooting (news.sky.com)

Glastonbury, a magical place

Do you know that feeling? Some places are just magical? I do wonder if that works the same for everyone. I do not consider myself a highly spiritual person. I have some interest in the field and use some in my work, but at the same time have my feet planted firmly on the ground. And yet there are some places on this earth that can really touch me and draw me back to visit them time and time again.

For me Glastonbury in England is such a place.  The first I heard of it as a child was through my fascination with the King Arthur stories. I knew I wanted to visit, but there were so many places on my to do list and Glastonbury certainly did not stand out. When I was 21 I had my first change to visit, I was on my own for the first time on an abroad trip and it took some organising to get there by public transport.It was around sundown when I saw the Tor looming up in front of me through the window for the first time in my life. It gripped me and since has never let go. Every time I come down the Somerset country roads my heart skips a beat when I see the Tor again after years of absence.

Usually the abbey is the first stop. The biggest car park is right behind it and it is an easy first stop. There are only a  few walls left of what must once have been one of the biggest abbeys in the kingdom. What is left still impresses wether you are christian, pagan or non-believer. There just is something about the place. Like many christian places Glastonbury abbey also has it's pagan symbols. There is the egg stone behind the abbey kitchen. The legend goes that women who sit on the stone will get pregnant. No, I have not tried that. :)  But it is a magical belief that has lasted for centuries. Another legend is of course that King Arthur himself was buried on abbey grounds. And centuries ago they did find the bones of a large warrior and a woman besides him. Then there is the thorn.  The holy thorn that blossoms at Christmas. This is an offshoot of the one on Wearyall hill that was so unfortunately damaged by vandals last year. All these stories make for a magical athmosphere. Do I believe in them? It doesn't matter, walking around surrounded by so much magic makes me feel good.

Next is the Tor. A hill next to the small town, crowned by a small tower. Several footpaths lead up the hill. I have taken most of them. Running, walking and nearly crawling to the top. Once you are there you have a magnificent view of the surrounding countryside. Andit is as if you can feel the energy under your feet. On the top I will sit or stand quietly for a while doing grounding excersises. Taking in new fresh energy and letting go of old and excess energy. And even after the long hike I will feel  rejuvinated. 

The trek down seems so much easier and I know that at the end awaits the chalice well garden. This is the final stop on the tour that is never missed. The garden offers tranquility and the healing waters of the chalice well. It is a haven to sit, rest your feet, put them in the healing water or drink from it [upstream] and just relax. Even at times that relaxing was not a strong point, I always could in this garden.

Too soon the day is at an end again and I say goodbye knowing I will return again and do my little trek all over. I feel energized, peacefull and happy. 

 

Are there places on earth that do this for you?  I would love to hear from you and please share your story here or on facebook.
 

Related articles

• Resurrection of the Holy Thorn Tree: Glastonbury's vandalised shrine comes back to life (dailymail.co.uk)
• Beautiful sacred sites around the world (sisterofsun.wordpress.com)

OCTIA conference on online counselling

I am back from the OCTIA conference in Bristol, England. It was everything I had hoped for and I can recommend it to everyone.

The atmosphere at the conference is relaxed and respectful towards everyone as well as a delegate at the location or if you are following online through onlinevents.

The day started off with a lecture on websites and marketing by Gill Jones. It was very interesting for those who have not thought much about marketing yet and it gave me some great new tips to try out as well. And it was a very good start to the day.


It was followed by a lecture by Tim Bond on ethical and legal issues for Online Counsellors. This is an issue that I take very seriously, clients need to know that we work with high standards and working with us is safe. The lecture was very informative and again for me made clear that as a European Union we have to work closer and standardise things like the data protection act. So that there is one entry point in Europe were you can get this code and it is valid for clients from the whole European Union. I am sure we will get there one day. Right now I do inform my clients through my website and contract that I am very careful with their data and it is stored on a password protected hard disc stored in a locked cupboard.


After lunch there was a mindblowing lecture by Kate Anthony on the future developments in Online Counselling. Through examples [videos]  she showed how virtual reality is already used in therapy and might be used even more in the future. I am interested in this but right now the technology is a bit beyond me. I just manage to get my avatar dressed in Second Life. Yet I do see the huge advantage of this kind of therapy. You can meet with the client in any kind of environment, a place they want to show you or somewhere they feel safe. Who knows in 10 years time we might be using holographic therapy, I do feel like the sky is the limit here.


The following presentation was very close to my heart. Chloe Morton and Jessica Shaw talked about cybermentors for children. They train children to mentor others and kids with all kinds of problems can find help online. Of course there are adult volunteer staff as well. So many young children are online these days but do not know how to protect themselves online and that way can get into huge problems. Projects like this are much needed.


Already it was time for the last lecture by Stephanie Palin on understanding online sex addiction. Again lots of new information delivered with passion. I now have a much better idea about when watching porn becomes an addiction and to understand there is much more behind it than just wanting to watch porn. 

We had one extra. A video about psychological counselling online in Lithuania. Vilma Kurzieme talked about her work in Lithuania in a pre-recorded message. It is great to hear about their work and I know how passionate she is about it! And it shows online counselling is growing fast throughout the whole of the European union.


Too soon it was time to leave. It had been a great day with lots of new information and meeting great people. Many I had already met online but it is so great to meet in person as well. And to make new friends. Already looking forward to next year!