How to cope with loss

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Back in May I attended a workshop on how to deal with loss. When I just started my training I used to think that loss only meant dealing with the loss of a loved one. But my training showed me how important dealing with loss really is. And this workshop helped to remind me once more.

The workshop was in Dutch given by Riet Fiddelaers who specialises in dealing with loss and grief.If you read Dutch it is well worth it to have a look around her site.  There is a section with usefull downloads in Dutch. The thing I came away with most is that loss and grieving are such broad terms and all of us have to deal with it at one time or another. I am not just talking about grieving a loved one. But also for example:

• The loss of health [through accident or illness]
• Loss of status [through losing a job]
• Loss of house [moving or dissasters]
• For children loss of family [through divorce]

And these are only a few examples. People deal with loss in different ways and most of us do not need help in dealing with loss. And yet there are many people who do, who have never learnt to grieve for what they lose. Many were not allowed to do so when they were young. And now in later life they get into emotional trouble because there is no closure. They experience grief in their lives and do not know how to move on.

As I work a lot with people in chronic pain this is an issue that comes up a lot. People try to stay strong and try to forget the bad parts. I applaud looking at life in a positive way. And yet you will often find that acceptance and moving on are made much easier by facing what you have lost. To acknowledge it and work through it until you find closure. It will probably still be there somewhere in your life, but you have given it a place and you are now able to focus on the future.

To end this week something completely unrelated. I have mentioned Tilt magazine before. This issue offers an article I participated in. Read here if you would like to see an example of how I work in text chat.